Growing up in a world where its people are non-stop imposing the ‘God only created Adam and Eve’ card is probably one of the hardest things a gay child could ever experience. Being labeled as stupid, not normal, and by just the treatment that they are somewhat different can cause serious scars to a child’s growing mind. Little did we know is that we are unintentionally cutting their wings before they could even fly.
Being outed as gay was probably the worst experience of my life.
I spent most of my childhood and preteen years pretending someone I am not. I watched war films, I picked manly toys, and I even try to change my soft voice when I speak in front of the class.
But no matter how much I fake it by putting masks that I know my friends and family choose to accept, somehow, the real me always shows up. It shows up why most of my friends were girls and it shows up when I didn’t give a flying F to the bands that most boys my age like.
And no matter how I try hard to keep the real me as a secret, I was still being outed by my family, by my friends, by my teachers, and by people that are strangers to me. It happened during a family gathering and in between classes. And I will just bleed inside and proceed to live the day looking at the reflection of me as someone I don’t know.
The meaning of ‘outed’ is mostly to expose (someone considered to be a heterosexual) as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. It is to expose someone for doing something secret or immoral. Or the easiest way to explain it, it is the act of disclosing an LGBT person’s sexual orientation or gender identity without that person’s consent.
WHY IT’S NEVER YOUR PLACE TO DO IT
I truly believe that everyone is free to embrace their religion as much as they like but it is NEVER acceptable to disclose someone’s sexual orientation without their consent.
You have no idea how humiliating it is to stand strongly with your two feet when someone is hungrily telling the public that you are not straight. It’s hard to witness it happening in front of your eyes and it feels like the world’s going so slow, your stomach’s turning upside down, and a sudden bad fire will electrify your soul. It feels like someone steals something from you and you couldn’t do anything about it.
Outing a person is like assassinating their character.
People will argue things like “YOU SHOULD BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!” pertaining that if you are gay then you should admit it whether you like it or not – stuff like that and blah blah blah. But that be-your-self-card doesn’t work like that in situations like this only because not a lot of people carries the same amount of bravery.
In my case, I try so hard to distance myself to people like this. Why, because they don’t care about someone’s identity at all! All they want to hear from them is to admit that they are gay. And after that, what now? Are these people gonna be there for them when they go home to their not so supportive family? Are these people gonna be there when they get bullied by a homophobic? And are these people willing to step up and reach help when the person they outed just couldn’t get enough of bullying and decides to commit suicide?
The bottom line is people like that only want to out someone as gay and laugh about it.
JUST BE OKAY WITH PEOPLE BEING LGBTQ+
The little boy likes to play barbie doll? Okay, sure! That girl is madly in love with another girl? That’s sweet! The guy from your Geometry class acts like a girl? And so what, not a problem with that!
Fast forward today, my closest friends would still laugh at me why I didn’t come out earlier. Saying that we could have been a lot happier if I did. But it was hard for me at 12 to say that I am gay – and that it took me years to be strong and finally embrace the real me.
I will end this blog with a short and meaningful advice.
The world that we are living in is too harsh already so please don’t add any more reasons for people to commit suicide. Compassion and understanding can go a long way. That’s your power right there, friends!