The Slight Pain We Often Get When Someone Unfollows Us

I was talking to my friend Jerome over Facebook Messenger last week asking him the Instagram username of the owner of the hostel that we stayed in Lombok, Indonesia. I said I needed to ask some questions because their website seems down at that moment.

He happily gave me the link but he opened up to me with a sad virtual tone, “She unfollowed me the other day,” with a series of sad face emojis coming like an avalanche after he sent that message.

I said that sucks.

Not getting a follow back hurts, right? But I personally think that finding out when someone unfollows you hurts 5x more. It goes straight to the heart because you once felt the cute idea that this person was totally liking your posts, favoriting your tweets, viewing your Instagram stories, and all that.

But all of that was once upon a time and then suddenly without closure and explanation, they are not anymore – bridges are burned and ties are cut.

In a generation that is wildly invested in the virtual world of social media, getting unfollowed by someone is clearly equivalent to being dumped in person. It’s the 21st century’s new normal of being abandoned so it’s totally fine if you find yourself pouting and frowning like a highschool kid with a broken heart.

When people break up, they unfollow. When people fight for serious matters, they unfollow.

With hundreds of applications that are capable of telling us who unfollowed our profiles, I am guilty of the fact that when I see someone unfollows me, a sudden madness will raze in my soul that I will instantly and urgently unfollow them back.

Which, I know, is a foolish way to deal with that kind of situation.

Obviously, because social media friends and followers play a big part in our sense of self-worth nowadays. I mean, maybe, right? And it’s a totally different game when a close friend or a family member unfollows you. It’s a way of abandoning you which sends a crystal clear message of “I don’t value you.”

It’s agonizing because we live in a world where our friendship is based on how much we heart-react and interact in the newsfeed.

And that hunch when we realize that a person who always likes and comments at all of your posts suddenly stops.

So we ended up looking at our screens dumbfounded that we started to ask ourselves silly questions out of paranoia.

How are we going to behave next time we see each other at our favorite pub? Which part of my content triggered them to do it to me? Are my stands on things annoying that they unapologetically dump me on the pages of the internet?

Should we really take it personally when they unfollow us on social media?

Maybe yes. Or it could also be a NO.

Sometimes, it could also be that maybe, people are not in the same page on how we look at it. Maybe it’s just that Social Media is just Social Media for some of them.

At the end of the day, cutting people off just because they unfollowed our social media profiles is not always the most outstanding quick fix. Sometimes, every now and then, it’s just being aware of who they are and building borderlines correspondingly.


Photo by Victoriano Izquierdo on Unsplash

Comments

  1. the-gay-boyyy

    “At the end of the day, cutting people off just because they unfollowed our social media profiles is not always the most outstanding quick fix.” YES! I couldn’t agree more, Marron.

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      Marron Santillan

      Thank you! It’s nice to know that someone can relate to me when I think of this kind of thing.

  2. Pia Majumdar

    Beautiful thought on this topic. It truly gets tedious and upsetting sometimes when artists don’t get the recognition and people simply unfollow them because they weren’t following back. In this age of social media everything is rapidly and constantly changing 😅😊

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      Marron Santillan

      It clearly is! And yes, I don’t think artists are required to follow back. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Pia!

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  3. Jirah Merizz

    Love this article, Marron! I’m not really stressed when a random person unfollow me but if it’s an account or a person that I really love, I will get hurt for a little bit then move on. 😀 It happens.

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  4. Promolily - Savvy Community

    Great insights! love it how you explain the subject we all are going through. Yes of course it cause pain more or less it depends upon the number of followers. And i personally don’t take it that serious when someone unfollow me and move on. It how life happens at social media.

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      Marron Santillan

      That’s life in the 21st century, I guess. And maybe the whole lockdown just put a different more mood when it comes to dealing problems in Social Media. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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