I hope you’re all doing well.
Because I am pretty much not. I know getting back into this blog means getting back to square one. And square one means nobody is going to pay attention to what the hell I will damn write—none in my family and probably none from my friends.
But that’s okay.
That leaves more freedom for me to express what I’m feeling. Truly, precisely, and honestly.
My mind has been cloudy for quite some time now. And I was just too unreliable to admit it. I think it’s pretty fair to say that I’ve hit rock bottom. And even though I feel like sometimes I was just making a fool of myself to stay positive, I always find myself being punched by a stupid melancholic breeze again.
And I am writing this one because I feel like I do not have anyone to call home. Or at least a waiting shed to sit down and rest or maybe cry while it’s pouring really hard outside. But thanks to this blog that is there for me to be vulnerable like delicate china.
I’m going to celebrate my birthday in a couple of days. And heaven knows that I am always feeling melancholic at this time of the year. But this year it’s harder than my usual December.
Every year on my birthday, I always promise myself that the next year would be different.
Well then, I guess I’ll be watching everyone receive presents while I stand on the side empty-handed and watch them get all excited.
Again, dear self, next year would be different. And if not, I promise it will be a little bit lighter at least, I promise.
That’s it for now. I just want to vent out a little bit. If you have read this, and I’m thankful that you do, please don’t tell anyone that I am unhappy. Let’s keep this our little secret. Thank you xx