When I was young, I grew up watching films about traveling the world and achieving hella fantastic goals. Those things include getting an apartment in New York City, strolling the streets of Paris with a special someone and waking up one morning finding out you’re an heir to a great empire. Those were cheesy as hell, I know. But somehow these films made us believe that we can be anything we wanted to be when we grow up. And at some point in life, some of us stopped believing it.
And that, I don’t know the exact reason why.
By that time, I thought that by the age of 20, I am gonna be living the dream. You know, someone with a high paying job who already moved out of the parents’ house and can afford a quality car. But at 20, I was just bussing tables and was a part-time at a cafe.
Coping up with reality and looking back, I might hate those films about sugarcoating adulthood but I just can’t. Those movies have taught me to dream big. It showed me how the other part of the world looked like. And without it, I don’t know what I am gonna be by now because it shaped my perspective on so many levels.
Last night I was scanning thru the pages of my journal and bumped into my growing Bucket List and asked myself, “how the hell am I going to achieve all these?” No. 52 for example, which is “To be a millionaire”, I asked myself again, almost clasping my palm to my face, “HOW THE FUCK?” knowing that I am barely earning a decent amount of pay to get me my own apartment? Well I might be overreacting, don’t get me wrong. I am thankful to have my job but there are really those moments when I ask myself every night if I am contented or not.
They always say to never compare your achievements to others because you might either become vain or bitter. Which is true! And life, as we all know it, is not a race. That some of us already experienced skydiving at 17 while some of us had it at 40. I realized that yup I have all the power to change my destiny and that I am just one decision away to a completely different life. Can I hear hell yeah?
Well, there was this one night a few years back when I third-wheeled in Baguio, during my 3rd bottle of Sangria, we were watching a childhood feel-good flick and well, it reminded me of why should I still cling to my dreams. Because life is so damn short, the world is freaking wide and I am motivated to make some memories.
I made a promise to myself that I will never quit on the things that I always wanted to check off from my bucket list like to see the 7 wonders of the world, attend Olympics, live in a different country for at least a yer and learn how to speak another language fluently. Oh hahaha while typing these I realized maybe I should publish my bucket list? You say yeah? Alright then. Okay but going back, I also promised myself that I will never spend my forever stuck in this city doing the same tiring routine.
I feel like I am destined to be out there. That’s all I know for now. I don’t know what this year has in store for me but I already let the universe know to feel free to surprise me. Like, I might end the year as a barista in Italy or I probably be teaching yoga in Bali. Anything could happen, right?
Damn, was there a (bad) fairy godmother during my name day who casted a spell on me? Waving her magic wand saying, “this little boy will grow up to be a dreamer.” So for now, I might be going with the flow of this sad reality but I will let its flow go with me just when I will be needing it the most.